Want to take an eye test?
Uncle Frank? An eye test?
Olive, come here. Put those away.
We're gonna have a family meeting. Dwayne, family meeting.
First of all...
the doctors are doing everything they can to help Grandpa right now.
He's had a long, eventful life...
and I know he loves both of you very much.
But if God wants to take him, we have to be ready to accept that, okay?
Whatever happens, we're a family.
And what's important is that we love each other.
I love you guys so, so much.
Look at this. This is a 15-pound turkey.
It does it in three hours' time.
Are you the family of Edwin Hoover?
Yes.
I'm sorry. We did everything we could.
He was, uh-
Well, it was too much.
He probably just fell asleep and never woke up.
I'll have someone come talk to you about handling the remains.
Thank you.
Linda!
Mom?
Is Grandpa dead?
Yeah, honey. He passed away.
That's what this machine does. Chicken, fish or beef.
So you always look forward to eating the food.
And that, I believe-
Put it in the machine. Center it. Turn it around.
Hi. I'm your bereavement liaison, Linda.
- My consolations for your loss. - Thank you.
Okay, these are the forms you need to fill out.
A death certificate.
A report of death. An M.E. pink slip.
Please try and be as detailed as possible.
Um, this is a brochure...
for a grief recovery support group that meets on Tuesdays.
And, if you like, at this time, I can refer you to a funeral home...
so you can begin making your own arrangements.
Actually, prearrangements have already been made in Albuquerque.
- Albuquerque? - We're actually on our way to California right now.
If the body is crossing state lines, you're gonna need a burial transit permit.
Okay, but we're trying to get to Redondo Beach by 3:00.
3:00 today? Hmm. Ain't gonna happen.
Okay, um, can I just-
I know that this is, uh- this might be a little unusual...
but if maybe we could just go.
And then we'll come back, and we'll take care of all the paperwork and-
No. You can't just abandon the body.
No, no, no. Nobody's gonna abandon the body. We're gonna go and-
Otherwise, the hospital becomes responsible.
Sir, there are ways we have of doing things.
We're gonna go and come back.
You are not the only one that's had somebody die here today, okay?
Is there any way we might be able to view the remains?
We haven't had a chance to move him downstairs...
so someone may come in in a few minutes to take him to the basement.
Just tell them who you are, and they will wait.
- Thank you. - Okay?
And when you're done with the paperwork, I'll be at the nurses' station.
- Great. Thank you, Linda. - Thank you.
Goddamn it, Dad. Goddamn it!
Stupid.
We'll go to Little Miss Sunshine next year, okay, honey?
Next year.
No. No. We've come 700 miles.
I will be damned if I'm not making that contest, Sheryl.
Well, Richard, we can't leave him here.
We're not gonna leave him.
- Richard, what are you doing? - Fuck.
- Dwayne, go around outside. - Richard, what are you thinking?
- We're gonna take him with us. - No, no. That is not happening.
He's better off with us that these people.
I want you to go around outside and underneath this window.
Dwayne, don't you dare move.
Honey, you stay here. We'll take Olive. Frank can drive.
No, Sheryl, we'll be there in two hours. I'll call a funeral home once we get there.
If there's one thing my father would have wanted...
it's to see Olive perform in the Little Miss Sunshine Pageant.
Now, I believe we'd be doing a grave disservice to his memory...
if we were to just give up now.
All right? There's two kinds of people in this world.
There's winners and there's losers. Okay? You know what the difference is?
Winners don't give up.
So what are we here? Are we winners, or are we losers?
Huh?
Okay, okay, okay. Let's do it.
You guys go. Olive, you watch the curtain.
I don't know. I have no reason to assume it's gonna be otherwise.
Watch. Get the back. Get the back.
Shh. Go, go, go.
Yeah, 1:00.
Now?
- He's very heavy. Be gentle. - Mm-hmm.
Now!
One, two-
Okay, three. Wait, wait, wait!
Not yet. Not yet.
- Okay, go. Go, go, go. - Shh, shh, shh. Okay.
Richard, I can't do it!
- I got him. I got him. - Come on.
Come on! Hurry up!
Okay, he's slipping. Okay.
Hold on.
I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Be careful.
- Be cool. Be cool. - Hurry up.
Keep watch, Olive.
Watch the curb. Watch the curb.
Watch his head! Watch it!
Keys.
Swing him around this way.
- Olive, get in. - Here we go.
Okay, let's go.
Sheryl. Let's go, Frank.
Did I mention that I am the preeminent Proust scholar in the U.S.?
Here we go! Here we go!
Are you okay?
- Dad? - Yeah, honey?
What's gonna happen to Grandpa?
Uncle Frank?
Yeah?
Do you think there's a heaven?
That's hard to say, Olive. I- I don't think anyone knows for sure.
I know, but what do you think?
Um, well-
I think there is one.
- You think I'll get in? - Yes.
- Promise? - Yes.
Whoa! Hey! Son of a bitch!
- What happened? - He- He cut me off.
- It's stuck. - Okay, just leave it.
It's stuck or something.
- Maybe-Try pulling it from under here. - No, no. Just leave it.
- Fix it when we get there. - Okay, fine.
Shit!
Oh, Jesus! God!
I'm being pulled over. Here we go.
Okay. Everybody just pretend to be normal, okay?
Like-Like everything's normal here.
How you folks doin'?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we're fine. Just-
- Little trouble with the horn? - Sorry. What?
- Havin' a little trouble with your horn? - Yeah.
Little trouble. Sorry. Uh, sorry.
Could you step outside the vehicle?
- Step this way, please. - No, no.
- What? - Don't-
"Don't" what?
- Do you have something in your trunk, sir? - It's nothing. I-
- Don't- Don't open it. - You've just given me probable cause to search your trunk.
- Just-I- I just- - Put your hands on the vehicle now! Now!
- Don't move. - Okay.
- It's not illegal! - Sir, I would advise you to keep your mouth shut!
Oh, my God. What is he doing?
- It's not illegal. - Goddamn.
Sir, could you come back here?
I love this stuff. I love it.
God bless ya. God bless ya.
Don't worry. I'm not gonna bust ya.
Oh, thank you.
How you doin'?
- Cute- Cute family. That's nice. - Thank you.
- This on the side. A little of this, a little of that. - It's-
- Oh, man. - Sweet- Sweetness.
That is sweet. Yeah.
- Dirty. - And this one is one of my favorites.
Ahh, good, yeah.
That's a little different choice.
No?
- Gonna leave that with ya. - All right.
- You have a good day there. - Yeah.
What happened?
I'll tell you when I regain consciousness.
Frank, Dwayne, get out and push.
Okay, there it is- Redondo Beach, 46.
It's 2:15. Might be a few minutes late.
They said 3:00 sharp. They were very explicit. We can't cross these people. Trust me.
- Mom, Dwayne has 20/20 vision. - I bet he does.
- Okay, now I'm gonna check to see if you're color blind.
Asshole!
What's the letter in the circle?
No, no, no. Inside the circle.
Right there. See?
It's an "A." Can't you see it? Right there.
It's bright green.
Oh, man.
Dwayne, I think you might be color blind.
You can't fly jets if you're color blind.
We've got a little bit of- Okay, got an emergency back here.
- I think we need to pull over. - What is it?
- What's the emergency? - Pull over.
It's all right, man. Dwayne, Dwayne! It's all right. Hold on.
- Just pull over the car! - Okay! All right!
- Could you get him to pull over, please? - Richard, pull over!
- Richard, pull over the car! - It's all right. We're pulling over.
- I'm pulling over. Stop it. - It's all right.
- Dwayne! No, no. Dwayne. Sit down. - God, this better be good.
- Pull over. - I'm pulling over. All right.
- Stop the car. It's gonna be okay, Dwayne. - All right. Don't open the door.
Dwayne? Oh, God!
Fuck!
- What happened? - He's color blind. He can't fly.
Oh, Jesus. Oh, no.
Uh, just- just give him a second.
Dwayne?
Dwayne, honey, I'm sorry.
- Dwayne, come on. We have to go. - I'm not going.
- Dwayne- - I said I'm not.
Okay? I don't care. I'm not getting on that bus again.
Dwayne, for better or worse, we're your family.
No, you're not my family! Okay? I don't wanna be your family!
I hate you fucking people! I hate you!
Divorce, bankrupt, suicide!
You fucking losers! You're losers!
No. Please just leave me here, Mom.
Okay? Please, please, please.
Please just leave me here.
Shit.
I don't know what to do.
Well, it's gettin' late.
Maybe- Can somebody stay here with him?
- I'll stay. - Oh, that is not happening.
All right. Well...
uh...
I'm just worried about the time.
Olive, you, uh-
you wanna try talking to him?
Richard, no! There is nothing to say. We just have to wait.
Honey-
Okay.
Let's go.
I apologize for the things I said.
I was upset. I didn't really mean them.
It's okay. Come on. Let's go.
2:55.
All right. Everybody, look for the exit, okay?
Okay, here! Here's the turnoff. Turn in here.
Does anybody see the Redondo Suites?
- There's the hotel! - There it is! There it is, Olive.
We're gonna make it. We're gonna make it. All right.
How- How the hell do you get over there?
- Sheryl? - No, no, no, no!
- You're passing it! - Turn around, turn around.
- You drove past it! - You've gotta turn around!
- It's back there! - I can't turn around.
- Anybody see a way back? It's a one-way street! - Oh!
Rich! You've got parking lots on the right!
- Here, here! - Put your seat belt on, baby!
- What are you doing? - I can't slow down! I can't!
- What time is it, Frank? - Oh, 2:59.
- Dad! - Straight shot from here. We're gonna make it.
- Oh, it's a dead end! - I'm not goin' back!
- You have to go back! - That is a one-way road!
That'll take us all the way back to the freeway!
- You're the one who told me to go left back there!
I'm not turnin' back.
- Richard! - It's right there.
What-What are you doing? You can't do this!
- God, Richard! - Okay, here's the hotel.
Okay, stop!
- Where's the entrance? - Right here!
You passed it! You're passing it!
Hold on!
Here we go. One more time. Little bump.
Mom!
Hello? Hi. We'd like to register.
- Sorry, we're closed. - Uh, no. We have the entrant right here.
- We just wanna check in. - Registration ended at 3:00.
- It's 3:00 now. - No.
Come on. Have a heart. We're four minutes late. We just drove all the way from Albuquerque.
- Then you should've been here by 3:00. - Wait, wait.
There must be some way we can work this out. Please.
Everybody else was here before 3:00. I'd be giving unfair advantage.
No, we're not looking for an advantage. We just want her to compete.
Don't yell at me, sir. I didn't make you late.
We've settled on the schedule for the show. We've turned off the computers.
- Our lineup is final. I have a hair check to do. - Okay-
I'm sorry that you're late, but I can't help you.
Please.
You don't know what we've been through.
Um, Miss Jenkins? I- I can put 'em in the system.
- Oh, Kirby, you don't have to. - No, it's okay. Takes five minutes.
Well, it's your time. Excuse me.
Thank you, Kirby. Thank you very much.
Really, you don't know what this means.
Please, it's only five minutes.
I am not working for these people next year. These people are crazy.
Okay, so, what's your name?
- Olive. - That's a nice name.
- Mom, Mom! Look! - What's her last name?
- It's Miss California. It's really her! - You want to go say hi?
Albuquerque-
- Thank you. - Bonnie, come here.
- Hi! What's your name? - Olive.
- What's your talent, Olive? - I like dancing.
Dancing was too hard for me. I'm a singer.
You must be a good dancer.
I am. I'm really good.
I bet you are.
Well, thanks for stopping by, Olive. Best of luck.
Hmm. Miss California?
- Do you eat ice cream? - I love ice cream.
My favorite flavor is Chocolate Cherry Garcia...
although, technically, I think that's a frozen yogurt.
- Okay? - Okay. Thanks. Bye.
Bye.
- Mom, she eats ice cream. - I heard.
Your packet has tickets in it, and there's your badge number.
- Okay. - Is there anything else?
Uh, yeah. Is there a funeral home around here?
- Hi. - Hi.
Okay, Olive, let's get your swimsuit on.
You wanna go change behind the curtain?
This is the last touch-up, everybody. Final touch-ups. Last touch-up.
- Okay! Wait! - I won't wait for you!
Let's get outta here.
Hey! Hey, Olive Hoover.
- Mm-hmm? - Hey, I need your music.
- Oh, music, right. - Yeah.
Where is it? All right.
Here you go.
- This? Did you choose this? - No, my grandpa did.
- Your grandpa? - Mm-hmm.
- Which track? - Twelve.
We were drivin' five, six hours. Thought he was napping.
By the time we figured it out, it's-
- You know. - Too late.
So where's the body?
Um-
Personal effects.
- Thank you. - You take care.
You too.
I'm ready.
- She was scared, but she did very well. - Was she?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 24th annual...
Little Miss Sunshine Pageant!
Yes!
Now, please, put your hands together once again and help me welcome to the stage...
our 12 beautiful contestants!
Wow.
Oh, let's have a big round of applause for our lovely contestants!
At the end of the evening, one of these girls...
will be crowned Little Miss Sunshine!
Olive, honey, are you okay in there?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Hey.
What?
You got a kid in the show?
Your first time?
Yeah, yeah.
America!
It's so beautiful!
Sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep till I was 18...
and skip all this crap- high school and everything-just skip it.
You know Marcel Proust?
- He's the guy you teach. - Yeah.
French writer. Total loser.
Never had a real job.
Unrequited love affairs. Gay.
Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads.
But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare.
Anyway, he, uh- he gets down to the end of his life...
and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered-
Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was.
All the years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing.
So, if you sleep until you're 18...
ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss.
I mean, high school? High school- Those are your prime suffering years.
You don't get better suffering than that.
You know what?
Fuck beauty contests.
Life is one fucking beauty contest after another.
You know, school, then college, then work?
Fuck that.
And fuck the Air Force Academy.
If I wanna fly, I'll find a way to fly.
You do what you love, and fuck the rest.
I'm glad you're talkin' again, Dwayne.
You're not nearly as stupid as you look.
Wanna go back?
Not really.
Yeah, we should go back.
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for-
the talent competition.
Miss Carly Nugent.
Yee-haw!
Yodel-lay-he-hoo, that was great!
Wow-ow-ow-ow!
Funkylicious!
I'm goin' backstage.
Yeah, right. See ya.
Oh, look at you. Is that your costume?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, here.
- Hey, what's goin' on? - Oh, I just- I came to wish Olive good luck.
- How you doin', honey? - Good.
- Nervous. - Yeah. You're gonna do great.
I just know it.
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah.
What's up?
I don't want her to go on.
- Are you authorized to be backstage? - No. Hey.
- Where are the dressing rooms? - Are you allowed to be here?
Just tell me where the dressing rooms are.
Listen, we're not in Albuquerque anymore.
- Hey, how are you feeling? - Better. Where's Olive?
- There. What's up? - Mom, I don't want Olive doing this.
Oh, my God!
- Look around. This place is fucked! - He's right!
Look, I don't want these people judging Olive. Fuck them!
- Listen, it is too late. - No, it's not too late. You're the mom...
and you're supposed to protect her.
Everyone is gonna laugh at her, Mom. Please don't let her do this.
Olive Hoover, two minutes.
Look, she's not a beauty queen.
She's just not.
- I'm gonna tell her. - No, Dwayne. You listen to me. Olive is who she is.
She has worked so hard. She's poured everything into this.
We can't just take it away from her. We can't.
I know you wanna protect her. I know, honey, but... we gotta let Olive be Olive.
Olive Hoover. Are you the family?
Yeah. Okay?
Olive, it's time. Okay?
Yeah.
- We gotta go now. - Hang on.
Olive, look at me.
If you don't want to do this, that's okay.
If you want to sit this one out, it's totally fine by us. We're proud of you anyway.
We gotta go.
It's time.
Ready? Let's go.
Good luck, honey.
Copy that. Twenty-five is performance ready...
and we're walkin'...
as fast as we can.
- Is she going on? - Yeah.
She's going on.
Pure fairy-tale magic.
Miss Charisma Whiteman!
Wasn't that a stardust fantasy?
Thank you for that. You have been such a patient audience.
We have one more contestant, and then we'll be crowning our winner.
Please give a warm welcome to...
Miss... Olive Hoover!
You okay?
Um, I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa...
who showed me these moves.
Oh, that is so sweet!
Is he here? Where is your grandpa right now?
In the trunk of our car.
Okay!
Well, take it away, Olive!
Huh!
You suck!
Those little fuckers. I will kill them.
You stink!
No, no, no, no, no.
What is your daughter doing?
She's kickin' ass. That's what she's doin'.
Get over here! Get over here!
- I want that little ragamuffin off the stage this minute. - All right.
- Get her. Right this minute! - Don't touch- Don't touch her.
- Your act's over, honey. - Hey!
- Hey! Hey, let go of my daughter! - Oh!
Holy sh-
Let her finish!
Get off me! Help! Get off me!
- Help me! - Take charge! Just take charge!
Keep dancin', honey! Daddy's okay.
Get your daughter off this stage right now!
Now!
Honey?
- Like that? - Oh!
- Ooh! - Ah!
Yeah! All right!
Okay, you're out-
on the condition that you never enter your daughter in a beauty pageant...
in the state of California ever again.
Ever.
I think we can live with that.
All right. We're back in business.
Lock and load.
Olive, your grandpa would've been really proud of you.
- Yeah, you were great. Mm-wah! - You were beyond great.
- You were incredible. - Thank you.
Let's get outta here.
Whoo!
It's in gear.
What in the world?